Author: Kim Cochrane

“Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgement of others.” ~ Wayne Dyer.

We are all in relationship, at all times. We are not often clear as to what the real purpose of our relationships is. The real purpose for all our relationships is to become conscious of and identify the barriers we have built against true intimacy and connection, and learn practices to let go of these barriers, lovingly and patiently.

Relationships are where we can learn about love – and developing trust is a key element of this process. It may seem strange, but falling in love with the Self is an important element that must happen before we can learn to truly love another person.

You may find yourself in a negative cycle in your relationship – and no matter what you try to do to help your relationship, it seems to get worse. You may feel that your relationship is in crisis. It is not too late to reclaim your relationship and understand yourself in relation to another person in new ways.

We are often in unconscious, relational dynamics that keep us stuck in conflict patterns in our relationships. As relational human beings, we develop patterns of behaving and relating to ourselves and others. These unconscious relational patterns are often passive – without our intentional engagement or choice. Once we learn the components and practice of embodiment, we can observe and heal relational patterns that no longer serve us.

Embodiment practice invites us to slow down and notice how our whole self responds to the our partners. We notice, that when my partner says something to us, that our heart races or knots appear in our stomach. You will learn about how these relational patterns have supported you in the past – and as you learn about your responses without judgement, you can learn how to respond in a way that maintains connection without having to set aside your emotions or desires.

By acknowledging and softening, rigid patterns begin to naturally unwind and we become more connected.

At the core of my practice with individuals and couples is Embodiment – which is the coming together of body awareness, mindfulness and expression from a place of body-mind-heart connectivity. Practicing embodiment is the courageous act of becoming aware of and intentionally responding to ourselves and loved ones.

• • Mindfulness is a quality of attention where we “witness” ourselves. Instead of being submerged in our experience, we take a few steps back to notice our experience with awareness of thoughts, memories, body sensations, and body movements.

• • Body awareness is feeling the experience of sensation, muscle tension, breath quality, movement, gesture, use of space. Awareness disentangles the thoughts of what we think we should be feeling from the reality of what is being felt. Body awareness allows us to speak with authentic feeling in the moment to our loved ones – it allows others to feel our experience and understand ourselves better.
  • Expression from a body-mind-heart connection – combining mindfulness with body awareness encourages integration inside of us. Expression and engagement with our loved ones from this place is where what you say verbally is reflected in what you express non-verbally.

If old, negative patterns keep showing up in your relationships, it may be time for you and your partner to learn about how to embody intimacy and connection, from the inside out. Working together, we can clear out old traumas in your nervous system to re-create a loving, communicative, open, supportive and respectful relationship that you’ve always wanted.

Even relationships with a strong foundation can have trouble staying connected, working through difficult times, or energizing their union.

When both partners want to consciously and intentionally work together to soften and let go of old patterns, you will be on your way towards healing relationship issues that are causing your relationship to struggle.

Our practice together will include:

• • Learning how to stay in the present moment and speak from the heart during conflicts

• • Transcending unhealthy relationship patterns and heal old wounds that keep your relationship locked in the past

• • Understanding the deeper purpose of your relationship and how this knowledge can release barriers to intimacy and connection

• • Learning tools for deep, full and fearless communication to let your partner know what your boundaries and what you need

• • Deepening and expanding intimacy and connection in your relationship

• • Re-creating a strong, loving foundation for a nourishing relationship, no matter what has happened in the past
  • Developing a practice of reflection and contemplation that is helpful for understanding your thoughts and patterns
  • Understanding how forgiveness in your heart can change everything

The quality of your connection is important. If you’re ready to open yourself to experience your body and your ‘self’ as it is and to be curious about a whole body approach to your emotional life and your relationships – get in touch.