Living in a Constant State of Fight, Flight or Freeze.
Most of us live in constant states of stress – fight, flight or freeze. It’s as though we have become frozen in certain aspects of our emotional lives, unable to break through to states of authentic connection within and outside of ourselves.
This compromised state limits functions such as the immune system, sexuality, digestion, and elimination. It keeps us feeling reactive and unstable – and it is difficult to shift out of this state through the mind and reasoning alone. We need effective body-mind practices to change to states that embody clarity, well-being and deeper understanding.
We are wired for warm attachment with caring others, and when we’ve experienced attachment injuries in our families or relationships – which many of us have – we internalize the stress responses in our bodies that manifest in a constant state of fight, flight or freeze response. This internalized stress may show up as chronic pain, anxiety, chronic illness, fibromyalgia, addiction, workaholism or eating disorders – among others.
When we’re in relationship with another caring person, we’re constantly modifying each others’ brains. Our nervous systems are constantly sending out signals, wondering – are you with me? Are you connected and in a state of non-judgemental presence with me?
It’s possible to cultivate inner resources and body practices that allow us to become open and receptive once again – and to find calm and presence in our bodies, while in supportive relationships with others.
When you feel deeply listened to and nurtured in your heart within a compassionate, understanding relationship – you begin to feel more present, open and spacious in a non-judgemental space, and begin to see the world as a trusting, caring place.
What if we could practice drawing in what is painful or difficult towards us, and along with a compassionate other, develop a new relationship to our stresses – our fight, flight or freeze responses?
When we feel disconnected, we can learn to move our bodies back into connection again. When we feel nurturing connections – they settle and co-regulate with us.
When we’re there for each other, even when we make mistakes and misunderstand each other – when we take each other just as we are – without looking to fix or change anything – we calm our stressed bodies and minds and we can just be.
How many times a day do we have the urge to change something that comes up within you? Can you hold yourself in this moment with compassion?
There’s no judgement here and there’s nothing to be fixed.
We will be together and open to everything in spacious awareness – cultivating familiarity, shared goals, joint attention, and interdependence.
Remember and trust in the wholeness in everything around you. Compassion and connection are available for you now.
loving you as you are, xo.
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