Embodied Relationships – A Body-Centred Approach for Cultivating Deep Connection.

January 18, 2018

As a society, we spend thousands of dollars to learn skills for business, hobbies or physical well being. Yet, we spend very little time investing in how to love more deeply and fully.

The best relationships rest on two pillars. The first is intimacy, or the removal of distance or separation from another; and the second is energetic connection.

Together, you will learn practices that allow for more appreciation and love through intimate communication and which spark and foster the flow of energy. True connection happens when we allow ourselves to be seen.

Really, truly, deeply seen.

What would it be like for both of you to look outside your limited ideas of yourselves and each other to realize that something more may be true.

To move beyond the your stories and labels and your history (both together and apart), and know that this doesn’t define you.
Now, step into the aliveness of this moment, which means touching into sensations you notice in your body, and move beyond the thoughts in your mind.
We will try this together, but right now, be totally present to whatever is happening inside you. See all that is vibrating right now with life – now, let go of language – without naming or commenting on anything, get very quiet and have the direct experience of what’s here – it’s deeply alive.
What do you notice?
If you can turn away from words, from trying to figure everything out, and you are just here now, fully present in your body and absorbed in being alive in this moment – notice what you feel.
If you can free yourself and others from labels – and just notice alive presence in yourself. Notice that it is quite amazing to be alive – to breathe, to move, to talk, to be – and you can’t help but feel gratitude, tenderness and love.

I’m interested in you and your relationship – I look forward to working with you and your partner in this way.

We all long for deep, heartfelt connection, yet opening to another person brings to the surface our conditioned patterns that tend to shut this connection down – our deepest wounds, worst fears, lack of trust, and emotional trigger points – rise to the surface. We may never have felt fully loved – so we have developed self-protective, defensive patterns that insulate us from the vulnerable openness that love brings.

We can learn to understand and move beyond our self-protective patterns – a type of survival mode, and feelings of defensiveness and control – to heal our old energies of abandonment, hurt or rejection that happened long ago, that undermine the possibility for the deeper, heartfelt connection that you long for in your life now.

We are all in relationship, at all times. We are not often clear as to what the real purpose of our relationships is. The real purpose for all our relationships is to become conscious of and identify the barriers we have built against true intimacy and connection, and learn practices to let go of these barriers, lovingly and patiently.

Relationships are where we can learn about love – and developing trust is a key element of this process. It may seem strange, but falling in love with the Self is an important element that must happen before we can learn to truly love another person.

You may find yourself in a negative cycle in your relationship – and no matter what you try to do to help your relationship, it seems to get worse. You may feel that your relationship is in crisis. It is not too late to reclaim your relationship and understand yourself in relation to another person in new ways.

We are often in unconscious, relational dynamics that keep us stuck in conflict patterns in our relationships. As relational human beings, we develop patterns of behaving and relating to ourselves and others. These unconscious relational patterns are often passive – without our intentional engagement or choice. Once we learn the components and practice of embodiment, we can observe and heal relational patterns that no longer serve us.

Embodiment practice invites us to slow down and notice how our whole self responds to the our partners. We notice, that when my partner says something to us, that our heart races or knots appear in our stomach. You will learn about how these relational patterns have supported you in the past – and as you learn about your responses without judgement, you can learn how to respond in a way that maintains connection without having to set aside your emotions or desires.

By acknowledging and softening, rigid patterns begin to naturally unwind and we become more connected.

At the core of my practice with individuals and couples is Embodiment – which is the coming together of body awareness, mindfulness and expression from a place of body-mind-heart connectivity. Practicing embodiment is the courageous act of becoming aware of and intentionally responding to ourselves and loved ones.

  • Mindfulness is a quality of attention where we “witness” ourselves. Instead of being submerged in our experience, we take a few steps back to notice our experience with awareness of thoughts, memories, body sensations, and body movements.
  • Body awareness is feeling the experience of sensation, muscle tension, breath quality, movement, gesture, use of space. Awareness disentangles the thoughts of what we think we should be feeling from the reality of what is being felt. Body awareness allows us to speak with authentic feeling in the moment to our loved ones – it allows others to feel our experience and understand ourselves better.
  • Expression from a body-mind-heart connection – combining mindfulness with body awareness encourages integration inside of us. Expression and engagement with our loved ones from this place is where what you say verbally is reflected in what you express non-verbally.

Those who make a commitment to do this work together, certainly reap the rewards. To embody and know your feelings is to know yourself. To be able to be with your feelings, and know how and when to express them, is part of living a balanced life – and you have to build a container inside yourself, to begin this exploration.

I hold space for you and your partner to explore and grow – within yourselves and your relationship. We work together to grow the emotionally less mature parts of yourselves – the more reactive and fearful parts – that may be controlling your behavior in your relationship.
This process of developing a connection to the feelings you have in your body, the thoughts you have in your mind and the vulnerability you feel in your heart, is a process of taking responsibility for the underdeveloped (and sometimes hidden) aspects of ourselves, is the work we’ll do together.

When working together, I take time to get to know what’s happening for each couple and work with the root(s) of what’s happening for both of you – within the first few sessions.

Our work together does take time, and each couple makes a commitment together to learn about Embodied Emotional Intimacy in their relationship, and we work through the following areas of focus (and more):

– Exploring Your Family of Origin
– Understanding Your Negative Cycle
Developing Mindful Awareness of Thoughts & Sensations in Your Body
– Paying Attention to Anger and/or Shame Patterns
– Learning about Emotional & Embodied Expression
– Building a Container within Yourself
– Homework Practices in-between sessions
Checking in, in-between sessions to discuss new insights that are happening between you and your

Many of us are not aware of how much our intimate, emotional relating is driven by automatic body responses and our nervous system – you and your partner will learn simple, body-oriented interventions for tracking and exploring what’s happening in your bodies as you relate to one another, and how you may feel chronically shut down, numb or anxious. You will learn how to restore a sense of connection to your body, when you may be feeling fragmented during conflicts or disruptions with your partner.

The quality of your connection is important. If you’re ready to open yourself to experience your body and your ‘self’ as it is and to be curious about a whole body approach to your emotional life and your relationships – get in touch.

I look forward to being with you.
love Kim, xoxo

In 2018, it’s my intention to build and support more conscious face-to-face community opportunities for those of us who want to be together, move and support each other towards the movement of life in each of us.

The first in a series of workshops this year is:

Based on Body-Mind Centering Somatic Practice – Moving Rest – a Somatic Movement Workshop for those who want to unwind their habitual body patterns, rejuvenate their nervous system and feel radiantly alive.

Do you feel tired of the same old repetitive exercise? Are you at a time in your life for whatever reason, you feel you need to change the way you move your body? 

Moving Rest  explores new ways to move using the wisdom of your own consciousness with gentle focus on strength, flexibility, fluidity and resilience. Cultivating a reserve of natural energy in a non-harming way. Learn breath awareness explorations to keep yourself well. In these changing times discover resources for embodied living.

Monday, February 12th, 2018 – 7:30pm to 9pm
6633 Hwy #7 – Suite #012 @ Ninth Line – Markham

Come back to your body. Deepen your experience of ’embodied presence’. Explore the smaller dance of our bodies through breath, movement, floor play, with doses of stretch and rest to balance your nervous system.

Please get in touch to register before the workshop.

Coming in May 2018 – Nature Quest – A 4-Week Eco-Therapy Series Held Outdoors – Connecting to the Transformative Power of Nature.

Do you…

  • Feel called to being in nature?
  • Long for inner peace and contentment?
  • Desire meaningful community?
  • Want to connect your body, heart, and mind with nature?

It includes group process, mindful hiking, movement, nature connection, and meditation, within a supportive community.

[email protected] / https://kimcochrane.ca/

I cannot heal anything: I can create a generative field of possibility, within which healing is possible.

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Testimonial 1

When I came to you I felt confused, disconnected and broken. Now, I'm on my way to feeling whole. Thank you.
Kim Cochrane
When I came to you I felt confused, disconnected and broken. Now, I'm on my way to feeling whole. Thank you.

Testimonial 2

I’m so glad I’m giving myself space to explore what’s happening in my life and to understand my feelings.
Kim Cochrane
I’m so glad I’m giving myself space to explore what’s happening in my life and to understand my feelings.

Testimonial 3

I've wanted to do this for a while and I'm so glad I did - I trust myself more now, I feel more calm and open - working together has changed the course of my life.

Kim Cochrane
I've wanted to do this for a while and I'm so glad I did - I trust myself more now, I feel more calm and open - working together has changed the course of my life.
Kim Cochrane