The quality of our relationships reflects how deeply we love and understand ourselves; essentially, how well we love ourselves in the ways that we look for others to love us. We can learn to give ourselves what we need in many ways, and then, we can look for different things from others in our relationships.
How do I learn to love myself? It is a daily practice.
Here’s a place to start:
Make a list of five adjectives that could describe you. Take some time to provide details about your descriptive adjectives and really understand what makes you, YOU.
Self-love is learning to accept ourselves for who and what we are. When we learn to accept ourselves as we are, we give ourselves permission to grow, change, and become more of the person you want to be. If you don’t accept a part of who you are, you will have more trouble changing that part. This is the paradox of change.
We may not feel good about certain areas of our lives; that’s ok too. We have all had traumatic experiences that have left us wounded or feeling less than whole.
Give yourself permission to love yourself. Your life is yours, through the knowledge of yourself and others. Let the good feelings of this knowledge soak in to your body, and let yourself feel the warmth of your self-love.
The more you can feel your own self-love, the less pressure and expectation you will place on your relationship to fulfill your emotional needs.
Self-love is something we discuss when working together in couples therapy. I look forward to working with you and your partner to improve your relationship to yourself and to each other.
www.connectedcouplestherapy.com
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