Your Mission is to Thrive – Transforming a Painful or Difficult Relationship with Body & Self.
September 13, 2018
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” ~Maya Angelou
Depleted, overworked, stressed, anxious? My hope for you is to have something to look forward to – a new experience of your stress and emotional response(s) in your body. A new experience for you in your life.
A difficult relationship with your body can manifest itself in many ways. Thanks to societal norms – you may feel stuck on a treadmill of ignoring or overriding your body’s needs, not eating when you are hungry, eating too much so that you feel sick or actually get sick, not paying attention to the needs that your body has – for rest, proper nutrition, attention, care, understanding, movement, compassion, pleasure and joy.
We’ve been taught to betray ourselves and our bodies – to sacrifice our own needs and to mold ourselves to please others in so many ways – so much so – that we lose ourselves – leaving us feeling emotionally and physically depleted and ill.
My past echoed some of these kinds of difficulties – some of the pain I felt was directed towards my body – and at times, I felt it was something for me to control – and that it was often letting me down for not ‘performing’ the way I thought it should.
When I look back on this time in my life, I can see patterns of overriding, denial, isolation, and manifestations of chronic stress and pain. Our bodies are always giving us messages, and so many of us are missing that because we are ignoring the way we feel.
I know that by turning towards your body, your feelings and your pain – by making a commitment to continue to turn towards yourself with care and attention, even when you feel shameful or lost – is the way towards the healing and grace that you may be longing for.
This is space for you – this is your time.
My clients are some of the smartest and most accomplished women I’ve ever known, and yet, still – they find themselves feeling disconnected from their bodies – and burdened, stuck, resentful, and feeling alone in their relationships.
There is some very important work that can be done within the realm of understanding old trauma, nervous system and attachment patterns, mother wounding, father wounding, family boundaries and codependent relational patterns, that can help us unwind and understand these longstanding emotional and physical concerns that may have been trying to ignore, outrun or deny.
By turning towards yourself with a commitment to do the deep, relational, somatic body-focused, trauma-informed work – you too, can heal from the damaging and painful patterns you find yourself feeling – and create lasting responses to the ways that you relate to yourself, your body, and those around you.
I know – because I’ve done this work too – and I can tell you it’s worth the time, money and attention it takes to transform and heal.
I work with high-achieving women who are successful in so many ways in their lives. They hide their pain from others because they are the ones that support everyone else, and want to be sure that everyone around them is happy and well. They are resentful about so much self-sacrifice and turn away from their bodies – or find themselves in addictive patterns of disordered eating, overworking, or using alcohol, drugs or work to manage their anger, anxiety, resentment and pain.
We are given so many mixed and confusing messages about what it means to be a modern woman. The messages are difficult to decipher and understand because they are embedded in the unspoken beliefs and ways of being in our relationships, families, friends, schools, and the organizations we work for.
It’s hard to make sense of all of this on our own – we can begin by asking ourselves some important questions about what is true: what kind of relationship do we have with our body? Are our feelings important to us? What kind of relationships do we desire? Do we follow our true, joy-filled desires – or are we ignoring ourselves? How do we sustain a relationship with someone we love? What assumptions do we bring about relationships?
Do you need someone’s permission to be your constantly evolving self?
What does it mean to be a modern woman? Is it what you look like, feel, how you act, what you wear, what you do or say? Or is it something that allows you to be a whole, free person? What allows you to recognize your individuality? Do we have to keep making a case for our personhood – or does our story need to be reframed?
Would you like to be the author and creator of your own embodied story – including a new beginning, middle and ending?
Now is the time to turn towards yourself, and give yourself some of the time that you’ve been giving away. To let go of the burdens you’ve been carrying and learn to find peace from the inside out – not when you have permission from others – but finding peace from inside of you, rather than only when others on the outside are happy or pleased with you.
This work is a combination of relational, attachment-focused understanding of your family and intergenerational history, an understanding of your trauma history and how it may be affecting you in your relationship with your body and your self now.
A trauma-informed somatic practice – Somatic Experiencing, Conscious Embodiment, Body-Mind Centering, movement and breath, all work to change your relationship with your body, your nervous system patterns and chronic stress patterns – from the inside out.
Who would benefit from the work of Somatic Experiencing?
Anyone who has experienced a threat, trauma, event, or circumstances where there was little or no support, including a neglectful or unsupportive childhood – the duration was intolerable or which made them feel stuck, or the event made them feel frightened, very angry, or overwhelmed may benefit from Somatic Experiencing. The remaining symptoms of such experiences may be that you are overreacting to the slightest sound or movement, that you are chronically feeling anxious, or in a state of shutdown, hypervigilant or depressed.
In all the the above circumstances, the nervous system becomes overwhelmed and finds it difficult to naturally recover to its healthy place of resilience and equilibrium, potentially causing each of us to stay in a state of high nervous system arousal.
Anyone who wishes to regain a sense of empowerment by learning about and experiencing their body’s natural ability to calm itself after strong feelings or activation caused by a situation they perceive as being stressful or threatening can benefit from Somatic Experiencing. It is important to remember that our bodies respond to any perceived or experienced threat – even if most other people did not experience the same or a similar situation or injury as a trauma or a threat.
I used to focus my energy and attention on learning as much as I could – on filling my head with as much knowledge as possible – I believed that intellectual knowledge was power. In some ways, it can be. However, when it comes to healing trauma, paying attention to the way you feel in your body – it’s the deep somatic body-focused work that transforms.
This is powerful somatic work – learning to turn towards your body and your self with loving attention and energy – and cultivating new patterns and ways of being in your body and your self.
Many of my clients notice that when they begin to do the work of Somatic Experiencing, and to understand their own nervous system dysregulation, that real, lasting changes begin to happen. The underlying cause of your emotional and physical symptoms – may be caused by nervous system dysregulation, caused by past trauma.
Get on the path towards paying attention to and caring for your body and yourself again – or maybe for the first time – so you can experience true well-being, and the freedom and peace that goes along with it.
Your body is sending messages to you, and they are not mistakes – they are perfectly aimed to get your attention, and if they succeed, your struggle begins to shift and change.
You want to feel good in your body. Your physical body can act as a doorway to real, profound, deep and lasting healing.
When you are creating new pathways in the ways you are relating to yourself, your body and your life, you will need to surrender and let go of the old ways of being.
A little surrender and a lot of non-attachment allows you to receive what’s in front of you and open to new possibilities.
You can transform your pain, struggle and suffering that you feel deep in your body – into joy and beauty. I can hold space for that transformation to happen.
What are you being asked to surrender in your life now? What expectations can you let go of? How can you practice more non-attachment in your situation? When can you begin to trust yourself and “trust the process”?
Struggling with chronic, addictive patterns that are making you feel exhausted, ill & depleted? Create space for your body. Create space for you.
This work is for you.
You have the ability to be with the feelings, the grief, the pain and the fear that you’ve been avoiding or ignoring. Just a little bit at a time, you will find that your capacity to tolerate pain and difficult emotions expands and you won’t feel as overwhelmed, blocked or shut down by the same triggers any more.
Somatic Experiencing empowers us to inhabit our bodies as living, moving temples of natural intelligence and explore what it means to live in connection rather than in isolation.
It’s not selfish to pay attention to yourself, and to long for increased joy and ease in our lives.
You will do the work of turning towards what you have been turning away from. We all need support to be with and transform pain and trauma.
Everything is waiting for you.
with love & kindness, Kim, xoxo
www.s3p.d51.myftpupload.com / [email protected]
Offerings – Sessions for Individuals & Couples – an invitation for successful, intelligent, committed women to move from your head to your body – and to feel your embodied truth. Opportunities to feel present in your body, to unwind patterns of anxiety, depression, anger, hopelessness, chronic stress & pain, to cultivate trust in your moment-to-moment experience, your naturally wise heart, and your capacity to connect to yourself, those you love and the love that surrounds us.
Somatic Body Learning & Practice and Somatic Experiencing sessions are available for you now. Waking you up to the innate wisdom of your body, to feel yourself below the level of thought, and to access your full beingness in flowing, fluid motion.
When we can feel ourselves, we are able to detect and understand the sensations and emotions our bodies signal to us – and we can connect with ourselves and others from a place of felt honesty and sensitivity, set better boundaries, and make clearer decisions about our interactions.
Get in touch to learn more about individual sessions – in-person, online or a mix of the two – and to set up a time to work together: [email protected]
Creating Well-Being Through Nervous System Regulation.
Nurturing Connection, Restoration & Building Resilience.
Easing the Body ~ Calming the Mind ~ Opening the Heart.
Somatic Experiencing ~ Somatic Practices ~ Breathwork ~ Movement.
“Censor the body and you censor breath and speech at the same time. Write yourself. Your body must be heard.” ~ Hélène Cixous
