You may be feeling wounded, raw and in pain.

When we struggle in relationships, we feel so hurt, so overwhelmed, that we just don’t know where to turn and what to do to help us feel better.

Understanding helps. Feeling helps. Support helps.

It is best not to go it alone.

You may feel that it’s time to begin a new, healthy pathway towards healing and aliveness.

At first, our relationships are not made up of love but of need – real love is born afterwards – within the relationship.

Love is part of what we’re searching for, but it’s not the complete story.

We all have unmet needs that we are looking for our partners to meet for us.

We have certain expectations of them – and they may have disappointed us, hurt us or let us down.

We feel romantic love during the initial stages of a relationship and this feeling helps to guide us to meet a partner – however, the initial feeling fades away in time.

That’s why we feel so much pain when our relationships breakdown because we are hoping for so much – aliveness, wholeness, passion, love – and when we don’t find it in our relationships we may blame ourselves and we feel crushed.

We have unmet needs in our lives that our caretakers, while growing up, could not provide for us.

Now, as adults, we try in different ways – sometimes unhealthy ways – to restore the feelings of aliveness that we had when we entered the world. To meet our unmet needs, we find a partner who can give us what our caretakers could not provide.

Any need which was unmet or any challenge which we couldn’t get through, and all other activities left a mark on us. All of those collective impressions form an unconscious image that we want to replicate as we look for a partner who can make us feel whole again.

So when we fall in love and enter into a shared living with a partner, our brains tells us that we’ve found someone to help us meet our needs.

Unfortunately, we aren’t aware of our unconscious needs or the unconscious needs of our partners’. When the truth surfaces that they may not meet our needs or they may have traits we don’t desire, we begin to feel insecure – we may blame ourselves if the relationship isn’t working.

We also seek the qualities lost in ourselves due to the pressures of of fitting in the society. For instance, if we are shy, we will seek someone outgoing, when we are messy we seek someone who’s focused and orderly.

When we come to understand that we chose our partners to help us heal certain painful experiences, and that the healing of those painful moments to the key to restore our wholeness and aliveness, then we have started the journey to real and lasting love.

Let’s develop a new understanding – to move beyond need in our relationships and into love – with ourselves first.

We can develop emotional intimacy and deep love within ourselves and in our own hearts first, then we can bring that love for ourselves into a loving relationship with another – this takes the pressure off of our partner.

We don’t do this alone.

We must work with a guide, a supporter – someone who can listen carefully and help us understand the nuances of our emotional pain – to help us heal and remember the divine love that exists within us. This divine love is always there no matter what is happening in our lives right now.

We can begin to practice living in love & wholeness, whether we are in a relationship or not.

If we separate from our partners, our pain does not subside, we carry it to the next relationship.

The spiritual purpose of our relationships is to see and feel into the painful places where we need to pay attention to ourselves – to heal and grow.

When we begin to pay attention to ourselves – to our pain and our struggles – as well as learn more about our needs and emotional patterns, we can set up daily practices to help us heal – and we begin to feel more alive and heal the pain of the past.

Allow yourself to feel more alive – to grow and allow ease back into your life.

Let’s talk about feeling supported – alive & whole.

[email protected] or 647 222-3086

www.s3p.d51.myftpupload.com

Join me for a workshop – Moving Through Anxiety & Fear on June 1st – AND

The 10-Week Self-Love & Soul Freedom Program – www.s3p.d51.myftpupload.com/working-together/break-free-inner-glass-ceiling