Relationships – Are You Stuck in a Negative Cycle?
Expectations. Blame. Frustration. Hurt. Conflict. Anger. Pain.
This is how it feels when you’re stuck in the negative cycle of your relationship.
It’s possible to identify your negative cycle, break free of it, and refocus the energy between both of you to a place of self-responsibility, consciousness, and awareness of the choices being made by both individuals and as a couple.
When you do this, you immeasurably deepen and enrich your relationships.
Together, with compassion. we can begin again. To slowly restructure your current relationship so that it is based in open, honest dialogue, and mutual, shared meaning.
Relationships get caught, stuck and frozen in negative cycles of interaction – a repeating pattern of negative behaviours, thoughts and feelings that cause distress. You react to your partner’s reactions and your partner reacts to your reactions and you go round and round in a never-ending cycle.
It feels painful, frustrating and hopeless.
One or both partners may feel that conflicts in the relationship never get resolved and you carry around longstanding feelings of resentment toward your partner. Understanding and climbing out of your negative cycles is the first step towards climbing out of distress.
In each moment of your relationship, we take in through our senses – sight, sound, smell, touch and taste – thousands of items of data. In themselves, these items have no meaning at all – it is through our interpretation that we make sense of all this information.
Based on our interpretations, we experience body feelings and emotions, which are broadly either ‘positive’ or ‘negative’, and we act and react accordingly.
When you learn and begin to practice a new model of communicating with one another, both partners will begin to realize how profoundly and subtly our unchecked interpretations of our perceptions about the other person dictate the course of the relationship.
Relationships based on assumptions will run into difficulty. The key is to be curious – and to check our interpretations with the other person. If we do not, we miss out on getting to know and understand the most important people in our lives, as well as learn about ourselves and how we see the world.
By learning to check our interpretations – without getting caught up in arguments about who is ‘right’ or who is ‘wrong’ – we take a huge step in understanding and expressing ourselves and expanding our worlds to include others’ realities. At the same time, we are also able to accept and express our own thoughts and realities – while understanding those of others – without letting them dictate how we live.
When you can understand your negative cycles and move beyond the blame and hurt you’ve felt because of them, you will begin to see that you and your partner are free and clear to choose how to live your lives and face what comes your way by responding – not just reacting.
With awareness and practice, you both will understand that each and every time you have conflict, you have a choice to react, to blame, to self-hate …. the list goes on.
Instead, you can learn to break through your negative cycles and allow both members of the relationship an opportunity to fully own your own choices – as individuals and within a couple – and with that comes freedom.
Your relationship to yourself and to your partner becomes something else entirely when you really understand the meaning of that.
Breathe new life into your relationship – practice a new way of understanding and communicating within your relationship – beyond blame, and ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ – and get curious about the truth of each other’s realities.
Because really, we were never meant to struggle through this life alone. We need our teachers, guides and friends.
Are you open?
Rewrite your Relationship Love Story – and open yourself to fresh new way of communicating and being together in your hearts and minds.
Sessions for individuals and couples are available in-person or by Skype – and can be very helpful for allowing you to let go, open your heart, access freedom, and live as love in this moment. Everything you need is already within you. Let’s open the door.
love Kim, xo.
6-Week SPRING Session of Embodied Mindfulness Meditation
Monday evenings beginning April 25th, 2016 – 7pm to 8:30pm
Do you feel disconnected from your body, emotions and within your life? Are you ready to make changes to allow more ease into your life? Take time to connect to yourself and regain clarity within your mind, heart and spirit.
During this practice you will take time to: rest in the stillness of the present moment, reunite mind-body connection, release mental and emotional tension, connect to your inner wisdom to make decisions that align with your authentic truth, release attachments to stories that limit your growth, cultivate patience, presence and ease in your work and relationships.
When you are with what’s happening now, you aren’t thinking about the past or future, worrying, feeling stressed or in pain. You can expect simple, effective mind-body practices and movement to free yourself of feelings of anxiousness, chronic pain, worry, stress, and depression.
I would love to see you there.