Is Relational Trauma Effecting Your Relationships?
Relational Trauma happens between people.
It can cover the experience of being bullied, and it can even describe the impact of being betrayed as an adult by your significant other. It can also be used to describe the experience of being abused or neglected as a child by a parent or other caregiver.
I focus on working with those who have been wounded in relationships – and how this wounding may be effecting their feelings of intimacy and connection with others.
Relational Traumas impact us deeply and can affect the way that we learn to relate to ourselves and to others dramatically.
Relational Trauma can set us up for codependency, addiction, destructive relational patterns, eating disorders, chronic pain, self-esteem issues and more.
The experience of trauma for a child as, “anything less than nurturing behavior on the part of the parent or caregiver.”
This is a broad banner and most of us would be able to say that we have experienced trauma by this definition. The good news is that children are incredibly resilient and are able to cope with and handle those imperfect parenting moments as long as they are not the norm.
Many people experience less than nurturing behavior with enough regularity for it to negatively impact their development. This can include overt experiences such as physical, sexual or verbal abuse, or more covert behavior such as neglect.
When working together, I won’t assign negative intent to parents as most parents are doing the best they can with what they have.
Instead, we will look at the impact that your family of origin dynamics have had on you and the way in which you learned to adapt and cope as a result. The coping mechanisms that may have worked for you as a child don’t always serve you well as you grow into adulthood. They may even prevent you from being able to lead your life and be in your relationships the way you really long to.
We are all relational beings, from the time we are born until we die. We are interconnected with others, and we need secure, safe, and healthy relationships, which provide us with the freedom to be ourselves and to reach our full potential.
Through our early relationships, we develop deeply ingrained techniques of connection and disconnection. Many of us have had to sacrifice important parts of ourselves in order to satisfy our need to stay connected. When we cannot be truly ourselves, we can enter a state of dis-ease which can result in illness, anxiety, a feeling of emptiness or dissatisfaction with life.
We will try to understand ingrained patterns in a relational context, which can help you gain deeper awareness, invite self-compassion, and pave the way to new possibilities in your relationships with yourself and others.
We have an unconscious drive towards wholeness – and one of the ways we look for wholeness is in a committed and loving relationship. We want to be close and develop intimacy with others, however, our patterns of the past may be blocking us our experience of this.
Together, we will understand how you are in relationship with others – how, without realizing it, you may be keeping yourself out of authentic, fulfilling connections with others, because of your family of origin patterns of protection.
I invite you to explore how you feel – suppressed, disconnected, isolated or confused – in your body and your relationships, and expand your understanding about what’s possible for you within yourself and in your relationships with others.
The blueprint for your growth lies in your relationships with others – how do you relate to your partner?
With vulnerability and intimacy? With fear, anxiety or avoidance? Maybe a mixture of a lot of things.
Within the heart of your conflicts lies the opportunity for growth and transformation.
Would you like to learn new ways of relating so that you can move beyond your patterns, repetitions and conflicts, and transform your life and relationships into powerful, transformative opportunities?
Right now, what are you learning about yourself in your relationship?
Are you tired of struggling and want to learn how to meet your partner with a deeper, more intimate heart?
Get in touch and let’s talk about bringing out a deeper, truer, fuller sense of yourself in your relationships, and in your life.