Many woman feel ambivalent about money and financial success because it brings up feelings related to emotional safety, survival, self-worth and the act of receiving. 

Feelings that go back to the original patterns of safety and trust that we felt within our early relationship with our mothers.

No matter how much we’ve achieved, if we pause for a moment, we may feel that we somehow don’t deserve financial abundance, that we need to be thinking of others first always or that money doesn’t matter.

We can learn to open, heal our wounds of the past and allow abundance in – in all areas of our lives.

Over many centuries, a woman’s place in our patriarchal society has been “less than” men – and, even today – implies scarcity in its very description.

Our mothers were the most powerful person in our lives and often the most powerless as well. Powerful because we needed her for survival and powerless because she felt the pain of being devalued to some degree in her family or in society.

Our mothers may still feel like the most powerful person in our lives.

Many women feel guilty for their success because their mothers were somehow deprived of it. Some mothers were successful financially, but may have suffered in their personal lives – with feelings of disconnection between their partners, children or families.

Some of us unconsciously block our success, while others barely allow ourselves to desire it. Others speak of feeling their mother’s jealousy in the face of their achievements, leading them to unconsciously hide or stall their success.

Confusing feelings around achievement, success and guilt begin at an early age, when we could feel our mothers emotionally deflate in proportion to our growth and expansion as an individual.

We may have felt that our mothers loved us, but not that they were truly supportive of us following our own heart and living our own dreams.

The truth is we never had the power to make our mothers feel small or “less than.” We had the power to trigger the pain that was already in her that started long before we came into her life.

In our innocence as children, we believed that we were the source of her pain. And we believed our mother if, in her wounded moments, she may have told us that we were the cause of her suffering.

Our commitment to keep ourselves “small” out of loyalty to our depleted mothers is based on a major misconception. Our mother’s confusing feelings of jealousy and a sense of deprivation can only be healed and addressed on the level it was originally created, which was within herself and related to her own early wounds.

These things have always been outside of our control as daughters. The fact is that it is something only SHE can do. Our smallness does not serve. We can be compassionate and respectful of our mother’s inner journey – she must come to terms with and work towards healing her own inner wounds.

We never did anything wrong. We were only a part of her projection.

By feeling guilty for our mother’s feelings we actually become the unknowing suppliers of the very thing that has oppressed her. Because in our willingness to feel guilty, we deprive ourselves of our own potential and will undoubtedly blame it on the next generation when they expand – and choose to live the lives that they alone will choose.

If we remain complicit with our mothers in this pattern, we show our deep misunderstanding of what has happened between us and our mothers’. It’s the misunderstanding of a child left unaddressed. It’s a form of unconscious self-harm.

The way to liberate ourselves from this is very simple and very challenging at the same time: The answer is that we grieve.

We grieve for the fact that we were powerless as children and no matter how hard we may have tried, we could not save our mother from her pain.

We grieve for the fact that our good intentions and huge love for our mothers may have been invisible to her due to her own wounding.

We grieve for the fact that she may have mistakenly seen us as the cause of her pain and taken that out on us as a result.

We grieve for the fact of your mother’s lost opportunities, loneliness, isolation or any other things that caused her to suffer when you were growing up.

We grieve for the fact that you cannot convince your mother that your success, abundance and sense of ease in your life is not intended to be a personal attack on her.

As we give ourselves permission to grieve, to accept the loss, and move forward we demonstrate a profound act of self-love. This is the first and most important step in learning to mother ourselves.

Grieving the mother wound makes way for freedom of all kinds, including financial abundance and freedom.

The truth is that we must be willing to surpass our mothers if that is where our path leads us. Not just in outer ways, such as how much money we make or what we are able to do in the world, but more importantly, we must be willing to surpass her level of consciousness and continue to evolve into greater awareness and understanding.

This is what it means to become a mature, individuated, healthy adult.

Our alternative is stagnation. Our mothers may not be able to fully join us in our emerging insights and realizations and we must grieve that as well. We can find other conscious women who DO understand and cultivate authentic, nurturing relationships with them.

As we grieve, we cross the border from struggle into ease.

In many families, struggle was conflated with love. If you did not struggle, financial or otherwise, it was somehow seen as a betrayal of the unspoken family pattern. As we continue to grieve, we see that we can be financially abundant and it does not have to be equated with an emotional loss of connection.

In fact, we can emerge into even stronger and more authentic connections as we allow more abundance into our lives.

Connection with our inner wealth leads to outer wealth. Our true wealth is inner. It is the overflowing connection to our deepest, truest core self. We connect with this divine self as we heal and access the inner gifts that comprise our higher purpose in this world. By connecting with this overflowing source within, we have a direct experience of our very essence as abundance.

We can embrace money as a neutral form of energy that we can use as a tool to carry out our higher purpose. With greater connection to our inner richness, we increasingly welcome outer riches.

The “root” is the mother wound and as we heal it, the “branches” of our lives (such as relationships, career, money, etc.) transform automatically as a result. Sustainable, long-term growth happens as we heal this foundation. As you heal the mother wound you cultivate an inner safety that frees you to flourish as a feminine leader in your own life.

Our primary attachment bond increasingly becomes the mother within and through that inner bond, we have a strong foundation of safety to venture into exciting new territory, to feel ourselves grounded in the centre of ourselves and fully available to live our hearts’ desire.

I work with women who want to heal the past, and cultivate love in all aspects of their lives – relationships, money, love, abundance – starting within – in the present, and to light up the future.

Together, we take down the barriers that block you from the love, abundance & success that you deeply desire.

Let’s talk – [email protected] or 647 222-3086

Work with me – www.s3p.d51.myftpupload.com and sign up for my free newsletter.

Workshops –
Self-Love & Soul Freedom 10-Week One-on-One Program
The Yoga of Relationships – May 25, 2015
Urban Priestess Circle – June 1, 2015