Getting to the Roots – Releasing Unconscious Family Themes, Accumulated Stress, Overwhelm & Anxiety Patterns.

November 27, 2018

“The effect of traumatic events is that we disconnect from ourselves, our sense of value and the present moment.”  ~ Dr Gabor Maté

Many people who work with me hope to find relief from, and to change patterns of chronic stress, relationship struggles, anxiety, depression, chronic illness and overwhelm. Some are discouraged and disheartened after years of medication or other therapeutic interventions, and want to uncover the source of their symptoms and transform their suffering.
While we must look within to uncover what’s happening for us in our lives, we can also look more deeply into the patterns and stories of our parents, grandparents and great grandparents, because the effects of trauma can pass from one generation to the next.
Inherited family trauma is very real – sometimes we hold on to and feel pain within us, long after the person in our family – who suffered the original trauma has died – or is submerged in years of silence. Body sensations and generational trauma experiences can live on, on the inside of us, reaching back from the past and seeking resolution in the present.
During our work together, we will get to the roots of unconscious family themes, secret fears and buried language that holds pain in our minds, bodies and hearts. This language and fear has likely lived inside of us for many years, and perhaps within our parents and grandparents as well.
By uncovering the events in our family system, we uncover our family history – details about a break in the bond with our mother, a rejection of a parent or parents, whether we’ve merged with a parent or taken on a trait or behaviour from the someone in our family history that has been ignored or excluded.

When you are in fear, and feel under siege, your body reacts in unconscious ways that we are not aware of – it is always trying to protect us. We all have an internal protector whose job it is to protect us from feeling hurt, overwhelmed, powerless, or disconnected. We are hardwired to seek safety.

Our personal protector is our fight/ flight/ freeze system. It evolved over thousands of years to keep us safe from physical threats and it is lightning fast. Our protector has one job – your safety.

This is problematic in modern life. Our culture has shifted dramatically in the past hundred years. Our internal protector does not recognize the severity of emotional and social threats, and tries to keep up us safe during times when we may not need it to, resulting in accumulated stress and anxiety patterns. We’re stuck with a tool inside of us that is outdated and no longer appropriate for the job.

Our internal protector uses evidence from the past and assesses risk in the present moment. This system can cause us many concerns in our day-to-day life in the form persistent symptoms of anxiety, stress and overwhelm.

When we are children, we feel safe when we are in connected environments at home, with friends or at school. We gradually develop the internal resources to be self-reliant. When we miss out on this sense of internal nervous system connection as children, we don’t develop these internal resources and, as adults, we rely more on our primitive safety system of fight/ flight/ freeze.

We can get stuck in chronic nervous system overload – feeling chronically anxious, stressed or overwhelmed.

This is important because it identifies the underlying mechanism of disconnect and the pathway to healing. Body-focused somatic inquiry can allow us to stay present with what arises that feels uncomfortable and to notice the actual process of disconnecting from our internal sense of ourselves.

As we become more familiar with our experience of feeling threatened, we can update our internal program to use our whole body, not just the unconscious programming from childhood. We notice when we are triggered into fight/ flight/ freeze. This is how we increase our capacity for being connected. This is how our internal protector becomes more skillful. This is how we heal and show up fully in our lives.

The Somatic Experiencing process emphasizes the importance of not getting drawn into the trauma vortex. It is not usually useful to dredge up old trauma scenes and get lost in re-living them. This can reinforce old neural patterns, increasing our tendency to re-visit and identify with trauma states. What is generally more helpful in resolving and integrating old trauma is to orient primarily to our sense of support, safety and resource in present time and from this place, mindfully touch in on the trauma memories.

In this more resourced state, we can recognize the trauma as something that happened in our past and negotiate its current effects on our nervous system, psyche and behaviour. Remembering what we can feel grateful for in this moment and remind us that in this moment, we are safe.

If you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed, chronically anxious or stressed, or struggling in your relationships with your partner, family, mother or father – get in touch. 
As the new year approaches, it may be time to be uncover unconscious themes – to begin a practice of body-focused somatic awareness, and a path of healing family system imprints and chronic stress patterns.

Because of your willingness to stay with, breathe into, and explore the uncomfortable places in your body and psyche, a new light emerges. Out of chaos, clarity is born.

Everything is waiting for you.

with love from my heart, Kim, xoxo / [email protected]

Offerings – Family Systems Imprint 1.5 hour Session – an in-person or virtual online Zoom session – an opportunity to get to the roots of intergenerational trauma patterns & begin a path towards relational & relationship healing.  Uncover your family dynamics and trauma history – I will create a Traumagram for you and an opportunity to strengthen your internal relationship with your parents and extended family. ($250.00 CAD) – get in touch to schedule an online or in-person session – [email protected] / 647 222-3086
Sessions for Individuals & Couples – an invitation to feel present in your body, to unwind patterns of anxiety, depression, anger, hopelessness, chronic stress & pain, trauma, regulate your nervous system, to cultivate trust in your moment-to-moment experience, your naturally wise heart, and your capacity to connect to yourself, those you love and the love that surrounds us.
The Wisdom Tending Women’s Circle – a 3-month, in-person opportunity to share, connect and be real. Beginning on Wednesday, February 6th, 2019. Get in touch to learn more – [email protected]

Somatic Body Learning & Practice and Somatic Experiencing Trauma & The Body sessions are available for you now. Waking you up to the innate wisdom of your body, healing inherited trauma patterns, feeling yourself below the level of thought, and accessing your full beingness in flowing, fluid motion. 

When we can feel ourselves, we are able to detect and understand the sensations and emotions our bodies signal to us – and we can connect with ourselves and others from a place of felt honesty and sensitivity, set better boundaries, and make clearer decisions about our interactions.

I’d love to get to know you – to focus on the interconnection of your body, mind and emotions. Get in touch to learn more about Family Systems Imprint Sessions & Individual Body-Focused Sessions in The Somatic Sanctuary – The Anxiety, Stress & Trauma Restorative Clinic – in-person, online or a mix of the two – and to set up a time to work together:   [email protected]

The Anxiety, Stress & Trauma Restorative Clinic:

Creating Well-Being Through Nervous System Regulation.
Heal Relational Trauma – Break the Cycle of Inherited Family Trauma.
Nurturing Connection, Restoration & Building Resilience.

Easing the Body ~ Calming the Mind ~ Opening the Heart.
Somatic Experiencing ~ Somatic Practices ~ Touch ~ Movement.

Virtual, online sessions are available for those who travel regularly, have a busy schedule, live far away from the office, or prefer to work from your own home.

“Life is passing rapidly.
Fiercely commit to every moment
you find beautiful and remember it.
Record it. Fully, wholeheartedly
inhabit it. Awareness is one
of the greatest things you can
possess in this life
it is as important as the
very air we breathe
and water we drink
to stay alive.” ~ Victoria Erickson

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Testimonial 1

When I came to you I felt confused, disconnected and broken. Now, I'm on my way to feeling whole. Thank you.
Kim Cochrane
When I came to you I felt confused, disconnected and broken. Now, I'm on my way to feeling whole. Thank you.

Testimonial 2

I’m so glad I’m giving myself space to explore what’s happening in my life and to understand my feelings.
Kim Cochrane
I’m so glad I’m giving myself space to explore what’s happening in my life and to understand my feelings.

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I've wanted to do this for a while and I'm so glad I did - I trust myself more now, I feel more calm and open - working together has changed the course of my life.

Kim Cochrane
I've wanted to do this for a while and I'm so glad I did - I trust myself more now, I feel more calm and open - working together has changed the course of my life.
Kim Cochrane