First, You Must Dance for Yourself.
You are always searching for balance and stability within yourself – to feel grounded in the feeling that you are worthy and enough.
Before you can dance well with another in a relationship, first, you must dance with yourself.
Dance is a good metaphor for relationships because during a dance you must find your own balance in your body, so no matter what you are doing, pivoting, turning, or walking, you are in control of your own movement – even when you are dancing with another.
For women, the search for balance and stability within herself is powerful and can be scary. A woman is traditionally defined by relationship to other. As a mother, partner, lover, friend. Her value is defined through the other.
And yet, when you are in flowing and moving in dance – you know that you are also all right on your own. When I am in the flow in dance, I am in alignment with my body and I’m in a stable, independent and yet connected to another person.
I feel open, powerful, and connected.
That’s why it’s important for me to be in the flow of my own balance and stability – when I feel that way, I am deeply connected to myself.
Healthy relationships = connection to yourself + connection to another.
A relationship is defined by two people who come together to share deeply, to passionately connect and stay passionately connected to themselves.
We are evolving from a world where the role of women in relationships was constructed to support one person. Women may feel that they need to have a man for social approval or even for their safety, and they still serve and obey their husbands.
We are in a transitional moment of creating relationships that feel freer and support both men and women. Yet most of us are still operating according to old programming.
We are evolving into new ways of being in a relationship. To create relationships that let us be who we are and support us to grow as individuals and as a couple. Where we show up fully as who we are, and share the things we want to share out of desire and not obligation or adherence to the social script.
When we feel off balance in terms of our own personal alignment in life, the connection in our relationships suffers because we prioritize the connection with the other over the connection with ourselves.
We fall off balance, when we think we need to change who we are to be in relationship with someone else.
When we’re in a relationship, we fall off balance when we stop doing things we love and become fused to the other person. We change who we are to please the other. We get obsessed and let a relationship or its demise determine our self-worth. We fear being alone and don’t feel we can be alone.
Many of us have lost our balance in our relationships. We evolve to a healthier relationship pattern when we can connect to ourselves and find our own inner balance.
Finding your balance – within yourself and within your relationships – is a process. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
In dance, as in life, it’s not like you find your inner balance once and always stay in alignment.
You find it, you lose it, and you find it in your body again. Dancing and life is a process of learning how to sustain your inner balance more and more consistently over time. You lose your balance. You realize you’ve lost it. You reset.
We do the same thing in our lives as we lose our balance in relationships, and come back to our centre again.
We need to ask ourselves what’s happening within us now – and what will we do with what we learn.
Find your inner balance once again – join me for the Self-Love & Soul Freedom 3-Month Program.