Relationships – Let Go of Expectations
Often, in our relationships, we dream about freeing ourselves from a ‘role’ or from expectations that we feel we have to fulfill. If we don’t fulfill them, we feel we will lose love from our partner. These expectations can feel heavy and we can sometimes feel constricted.
I wanted to share some ways of being in relationship that will allow for a new dynamic within the relationship to emerge – away from blame, conflict and chronic dissatisfaction, and towards lasting happiness, breathing room and freedom.
I’ve been using these ideas with couples, and they’ve experienced significant changes for the better.
Sit down with your partner together and take a breath. Close your eyes together and allow for an openness to exist, a spacious feeling that may not have existed before. Through this feeling of openness, ask yourself if you can allow your partner the freedom to be who they truly are – to fulfill their greatest potential in the world – and ask them if they are also open to allowing this for you.
Here’s how it works:
Let go of your expectations of your partner – that they need to meet your various needs – and along with this, the disappointment that comes when they inevitably fail to do so. In the process, release your attachment to blaming them for failing to meet your needs.
What does this mean for you?
Begin to understand the painful places within yourself, and take care of nurturing yourself and meeting your own emotional needs – then, you let your partner off the hook from having to do that for you. (You may need some support for this, and that is welcomed.)
What happens when you do this in your relationship?
You are FREE.
Free to love yourself.
Free to love your partner from a deep, true, and honest place within of yourself.
Free to refrain from blaming and arguing with your partner, and begin the task of nurturing and taking care of yourself, just as they will be doing.
Free to be released from the pressure of having to meet your partners’ needs for them.
Free to begin a new dialogue between you, and free to share what is working and what is not within your relationship, at any time.
What happens next?
You and your partner, each have a chance to meet your own needs in various ways to make yourselves happy. You have both shifted the focus and emphasis of your relationship to sharing the love that both of you already feel inside of yourselves, with each other.
How does that sound?
If you are fortunate, you may already be living this way. Good for you!
In my experience, couples are not living this way. Simply because they have not learned how to be in a relationship this way. In fact, they haven’t considered that this is possible. It is.
Many couples get stuck in blame and conflict that never seems to go away. This is the way it’s always been for them in their relationships, and it seems like the way it will always be.
I help individuals and couples learn how to have more fulfilling relationships.
We begin with the relationship you have with yourself. Then, we work together on creating a loving partnership.
Many people feel that having a partner will take their struggles away.
I work with individuals and couples to help them make PERMANENT, LASTING changes in the way they feel about themselves and how they are in relationship with others.
Here are some of the elements that I focus on when working with individuals and couples:
1) What’s happening for you NOW – connect with and focus on what’s happening for you in your life and relationship and how it’s affecting you now.
2) Make sense of your relational family dynamics – we will understand how these may be playing themselves out in your life today.
3) Reflect and get quiet – we will understand your patterns, what keeps happening for you and what’s happening in your body, heart and mind.
4) Feel your true feelings – we will take time to understand and feel your true feelings that may have been out of your awareness on your own, because they may have felt painful.
5) Understand your values and beliefs – take time to understand these, understand if they are serving you now and what needs to be let go of.
6) What meaning have you made of your history?– in an effort to let go of and understand the meaning that you’ve made from what has happened in your life and what you believe all of those events and situations meant about you. You are not what has happened to you, you are so much more than that.
7) Let go of and make peace with the past – what has happened in your life in the past, forgive and make way for a new way forward.
8) Forge a new path – a new path will emerge for you and you can begin to follow it with a new understanding, forgiveness, and gratitude practice.
9) Cultivate life practices – of openness, gratitude, peace, forgiveness and freedom.
10) Practice freedom – our patterns, thoughts and habits have been happening for many, many years in our lives, so it’s important to develop new ways of being in the world that will allow you to practice your newfound freedom. We will discuss what will work best for you.
I want to help you move beyond your struggle and find lasting peace within yourself and with your partner.
Go deeper – give yourself the opportunity for a new understanding of yourself and your relationship.
Contact me and let’s get started on the path to lasting freedom & happiness.
[email protected] or 647 222-3086