We want to be deeply known, seen and understood by others.
We want to be loved, cared about, and connected to others, and most of the time, we turn away from opportunities to connect deeply.

We often just don’t know how.

It takes courage to step forward, open your heart and allow yourself to feel emotionally close to another person.The way forward is not always smooth. There are difficulties and conflicts – and you can choose, every step of the way, if it’s what you want for your relationship.

We can choose to practice emotional intimacy with our partners every day – but often, we don’t. It’s a courageous act – and even though we may want to, we are fearful.

We can practice by first turning towards ourselves. We can pay attention to our feelings and desires and listen to our inner dialogue.

Many of us feel wounded – and we carry around pain and hurt from past relationships and from situations that we had no control over during our childhood. Often, we are not even aware of our pain and struggle, and we hope that new relationships and other distractions will help take away the pain, anxiety and fear we feel.

We can feel relief from our pain for a while, and then it’s back again in the form of a conflict or relationship breakdown.

We wonder – why can’t we feel as close as we did at the beginning of our relationship and why can’t it just work out?

I understand.

Many of us don’t realize that we have a choice – you don’t have to do this the same way you always have.We can decide to share our feelings with someone else, or we can keep them to ourselves. If we share our feelings, our own energy is released and we feel a greater sense of intimacy because we are better known and feel closer to the other.

If we choose to withhold feelings, our energy must close down and we feel more distant and unknown to the other, and there is less intimacy.

This happens with negative feelings, like anger, sadness, jealousy or fear – we feel that we can share the positive feelings, but don’t want to share to the negative ones. In the process, we can feel more distant, because are withholding important feelings from our partner.

The more feelings we share – both positive and negative – the more we feel known, understood and cared about. By learning to share all aspects of ourselves, and by allowing both partners to tolerate that, you are both setting the tone for the relationship.

It’s possible for two people to be in a relationship for many years, know one another well, but never feel close to one another. When you do not share your most intimate feelings with one another – good and bad – you don’t feel close. A full and deep relationship includes darker and negative feelings, as well as love and light.

We can choose to share, be vulnerable, be honest about our own feelings – no matter what they are, and face our human fears together. This is a conscious choice and one that partners may need to learn because this approach may not come naturally.

Do you want to feel more emotionally intimate in your relationship?

Take the first step towards emotional closeness.

Get in touch and we can talk more about how to pay attention to what you need and what’s happening in your relationships. I will support you on your journey.

[email protected] or 647 222-3086

www.s3p.d51.myftpupload.com