Abandoning Yourself When You Need Your Support Most.
I will not abandon myself when I most need my own support.
How many of us can say this to ourselves, and really mean it? To give yourself support without abandoning yourself when you most need it. Many of us don’t feel this way, but we want to.
We may feel frustrated, sad or disappointed – directing those feelings towards ourselves, and not know how to feel those feelings, move through them, and shift old patterns to begin again – creating a pattern of supporting ourselves from within, when we need it most.
When you feel emotional pain or anger rise, you may abandon or blame yourself – caught in a pattern of abandonment – from yourself and by others. It may have began a long time ago, when you felt abandoned by one or both of your parents or caregivers – who may not have given you what you emotionally needed. You may have learned to please others at any emotional cost to you – just to receive the love and approval that you needed.
You may have learned to abandon yourself, and feel you are not enough because you have been conditioned to believe that you need to be better or different to be okay (with yourself and for others). This brings forth the belief that you will only be okay when you have it all together (in the future) – and only then (in the future) will you be enough.
Our constant seeking to be enough can be found in searching for changes in our bodies and lives. Maybe you want your body to be thinner or less wrinkly. You may question if your career, relationships, or finances are enough in your eyes. You may feel as though you are on an endless search for lasting satisfaction, only to get caught in the illusion that more, more, more or something different will finally fill the emptiness inside of you that you keep running from.
Most of us don’t see this endless search for satisfaction in our lives and how unsatisfying it is in the long run.
What if you believed that the lasting satisfaction you have been searching for is always available for you. The endless search for lasting satisfaction in the constantly changing flow of life is to suffer. To slow down the search for more, more, more and to discover an intimate connection with this moment of your life is to come home to yourself when you need yourself most.
When you begin to truly listen to your heart is to come home to the only moment that matters – now.
When you develop a deep connection with yourself, you are no longer caught in the endless and unsatisfactory search for something else – new or different.
You can discover how to see and not get seduced into endless searching. Whenever you are caught in wanting things to be different than what they are, it can help to simply say to yourself, “This moment is enough, as it is. I am enough, as I am.”
Nothing in this world will bring lasting satisfaction. It can certainly bring temporary happiness and we can enjoy that happiness. If we ask life, in its ever-changing flow, to give us lasting satisfaction, we will suffer.
Notice how restless and busy your mind is when it tries to find the peace you long for – and how much pain you feel when your don’t find it.
This moment is the doorway out of seeking and back into connection with yourself and with life.
Practice staying with yourself when you need yourself most. Cultivating trust and faith in yourself.
Working together – you will come back to yourself – become more in touch with yourself emotionally – develop embodied well-being, and get in touch with your true self through your body, mind and heart. Allowing you to become more centred and calm, less conflicted with yourself and in relationships, more capable of empathy and intimacy, and more secure in all of your relationships.
If you are interested in exploring this further, I invite you to email me – email@example.com – and visit my website www.kimcochrane.ca
love Kim, xoxo
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- In a chair – sessions can address emotional struggles, chronic pain, and relationship concerns, and support during life transitions. I use a variety of methods, including verbal dialogue, Relational Psychotherapy, Integrated Body Psychotherapy, Embodied Mindfulness and somatic practices. (in-person or via Skype)
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Let’s talk – breathe & move together – firstname.lastname@example.org
If your body could speak, what would it say?
What is a truth that your body knows to be true?
How do you honour and care for your body – with love?
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you so that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place. The goal is not to change who you are but to become more of who you are at your best.”